Friday, February 3, 2012

Picking up the pieces of my naive teenage heart,

Now that I have come to my senses and I am moving forward in life, (no longer chasing love, but waiting patiently for it to come) there are issues I need to address.

So my little hipster friend was not only talking to me, but to one of my dear friends, Alex, also. I need to tell her about the night we kissed just to relieve my conscious. I do not want to come across as trying to steer her away, so I will tell her it was nothing and that the two of us rarely speak now. Oh gosh, Alex was ranting and raving about how excited she was to hangout with an anonymous male and I pray to God it is not my hipster friend--not because I have feelings for him, but rather because I do not want to ruin what ever they have. I am being completely unselfish here.
My unselfish ways get me nowhere.
Why do I continue to do this to myself? I feel as if I continually give, but never receive. Kaiti thinks I should pursue my hipster friend. But in the end I can only extend myself so far. I can only give so many opportunities. If he does not take them then I must assume he is not interested. I cannot force someone to like me. So here I am, letting go of my hipster friend. Letting go of social networks. I am restricting the opportunities. From now of if anyone wants to contact me they have pick up their phone and make a conscious effort. I refuse to be that girl you facebook chat out of boredom. To my hipster friend, you took my presence for granted.

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